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Having finished making notes for the fornsic pathology part of my course, I
thought it would be a good idea to find some case histories that I could
maybe use to cement my knowledge. Sadly, I don't think I'll be referring to
any of these in my viva.

Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his constipated elephant
Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs
and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let fly -- and suffocated
the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich,
46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the
relieved beast unloaded on him like a dump truck full of mud.
"The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr.
Riesfeldt to theground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay
unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him,"
said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. "With no one there
to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a
watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. "It seems to be
just one of those freak accidents that happen."

(1997 - 1998) "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I
was only trying to save the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told the bemused
doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski and
his homosexual partner, Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for
emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.

"I pushed a cardboard toilet paper tube up his rectum and slipped Ragout,
our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon,' my
cue that he'd had reached nirvana, so to speak. I tried to retrieve Raggot
but he simply would not come out, so I peered into the tube and struck a
match, thinking the light might attract him."

At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman desribed what happened
next.

"The match ignited a pocket of intestinal methane gas in Kiki's colon.
Flames shot out the tube, ignited Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely
burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers, causing
it to scurry further up Kiki's colon, which in turn ignited a larger pocket
of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out of the cardboard
tube like a cannonball."

Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact
of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his
anus and lower intestinal tract.

Sadly, Ragout the gerbil did not survive the incident.