You thought Frances Stonor Saunders was OTT?

October 3rd, 2009

Now you see that she was spot on yet again:

Drinkers’ Licences: A radical new way to curb drinking excess?

By John Cowan

Down in Brighton for Labour Party Conference one thing that was noticeable was the large amounts of alcohol consumed over the weekend – and not just by the conference delegates.

Most people are responsible users and are able to have a few drinks and enjoy themselves without causing damage to either others or the local environment.

However, not all drinkers and users of other substances are able to handle their use of booze in such a responsible manner. At weekends, most A&E departments house those suffering from alcohol poisoning, assaults and drink related accidents. It takes much needed resources from the NHS which could be used for other purposes.

Prohibition of alcohol, like any other drug, does not work. It was tried in the 1920s in the US and resulted in making the likes of Al Capone rich men.

One possible solution could be an entitlement card that people would carry and swipe when every time they buy Alcohol or Tobacco and record their usage. Is that too radical? I don’t think so. For a long time the Government have controlled motorists with a system of licences where people enjoy the right and freedom to drive – as long as they conform to certain rules.

With the card, people who got into trouble for, say, minor crimes or drunk and disorderly conduct in public would receive a fixed penalty notice and 3 points on their entitlement card with points disappearing over time for in the same way works on driving licences.

More serious offences would result in endorsements on the entitlement card and the cardholder would not be able to purchase alcohol, tobacco or other drugs available for sale through the entitlement card scheme.

The main benefits of the policy would be reduction in the health care and crime costs associated with use of substances hopefully leading for more better functioning society.


Thanks to Old Holborn for enduring the stench of that website to bring us these priceless examples of complete, edge to edge insanity.

Of course, Frances Stonor Saunders, author of the anonymous email warning Britain about ID Cards gave this example of extreme abuse should the ID Card come into being:

Every place that sells alcohol or cigarettes, every post office, every pharmacy, and every Bank will have an NIR Card Terminal, (very much like the Chip and Pin Readers that are everywhere now) into which your card can be ‘swiped’ to check your identity. Each time this happens, a record is made at the NIR of the time and place that the Card was presented. This means for example, that there will be a government record of every time you withdraw more than £99 at your branch of NatWest, who now demand ID for these transactions. Every time you have to prove that you are over 18, your card will be swiped, and a record made at the NIR. Restaurants and off licenses will demand that your card is swiped so that each receipt shows that they sold alcohol to someone over 18, and that this was proved by the access to the NIR, indemnifying them from prosecution.


It would be a very simple matter to add another field to your NIR record that records the number of ‘points’ for this imaginary and diabolical scheme.

The comments say it all:

This is hilarious, I haven’t laughed so much in years. You are truly, madly, deeply stark-staring bonkers. Are you all taking hallucinogenic drugs to come up with this utter ordure?

Can’t really add to the comments against this already made, but clearly this is a case of devising policy whilst off your trolley on booze, with your mates down the pub.

You just don’t learn do you? It is precisely this type of sticking your noses in to people’s lives that make you so detested.

Unfortunately, this article has earned you a 3 point endorsement on your idiocy licence.

We have had to introduce this system to counter the damage done by the myopic, arrogant and just plain mental ideas that are foisted upon the public daily.

This article has made us all collectively dumber.


Strike the BYOB if you are John Cowan!!

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