Police States make me Hot

August 29th, 2006

Old News….

The concept of never being able to carry a liquid on a plane again has me rapt with JOY! I feel… I feel… so SAFE. I hope the next step is to have built-in stomach pump SECURITY TECHNOLOGY at airports. Crazy, you say? No, YOU’RE crazy. Everyone has terrorist-sponsored deadly HYDROCHLORIC ACID in their stomachs, PERFECT to bring down an entire plane in a flaming horror going straight to hell. With this new deadly STOMACH ACID PLOT, even your very NEIGHBOUR could be the terrorizer!! Be sure to report their every move to your local police station, ESPECIALLY if there’s a tree involved.

ALRIGHT. Is that fear boiling pretty good now? Ready to be manipulated? Yeah? Okay, here we go:

Airport ban on carrying liquids is permanent, warn security chiefs

Barrie Clement / London Independent | August 25 2006

The 200 million passengers who pass through British airports each year will face high levels of security “permanently”, senior government officials say.

Passengers will be ban-ned from taking liquids bought outside the security screening zone on an “enduring basis”, security experts at the Department for Transport (DfT) said.

The officials indicated that any relaxation of the rules would depend on the development of technology able to detect all potentially explosive liquids, the perceived level of threat and the experience gained from operating the procedures.

At present, the equipment was only partly successful. “It is a big step to go from a concept that works in the lab to one that works in a complex airport environment,” the experts said.

But don’t think they want to make the technology easier to use in the airports – quite the contrary! Total success will ONLY be acheived when security lineups spill out the doors and onto the streets. If passengers aren’t being treated like pigs at a battery farm, the government isn’t doing enough to SERVE them.

The rest of this article goes on much like the bbq piece posted earlier, wait… uh… it’s a LOT like the bbq piece posted earlier… er… you wouldn’t suspect this to be a cut-and-pasted PR piece would you? Why, that would be not only SHOCKING but also SURPRISING!

But MEGA X-RAYZ are not the only helpful new technology coming your way from your friends at the airport. But don’t stop flying, okay? Because that means the terrorists have won. (wait, who are the terrorists again?…)

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